As the title suggests, it's a bittersweet day for me today. I am both happy and sad about the outcome I am about to reveal, but currently feeling like a 'bad mother' as well as feeling very sorry for myself.
Today my darling Stirling goes for a trial at a new home. There are several genuine reasons for this, but none of them seem adequate as I sit and reflect upon my decision here, once again with tears rolling down my cheeks.
I am trying to put myself into the shoes of the people who will be Stirling's new family. I am trying to imagine how excited they are, and how much love they will pour on him. He will be the absolute centre of attention, and will therefore be in Stirling heaven.
Stirling has brought me much joy and pride; he is, of course, a breed champion, and the feature of many posts here on my blog, in fact his name is the post tagged word on my blog. So clicking on this will let readers relive the many happy moments we have shared.
Whilst I have to be strong and let him settle in his new home - should it work out - I am lucky that he will literally be loving around the corner, so I will still see him from time to time. Hopefully the other two boys and I will meet him regularly at our reserve, which will placate my fear that they will miss each other.
Right now however, my heart is breaking.